I’m so very slow to post things here, but one thing I’ve been meaning to put up is this email from Ramesh, a participant in the POOR session, who shares some thoughts on making a financial gift to POOR through the framework of revolutionary giving. It was great to read such transparent reflections on the process of giving, and Ramesh gave me permission to share it with Enough readers:
hey all,
it’s been a real treat to run into some of you here and there, and keep connections alive through email and phones. i am still taking in all the gifts at our gathering from the scholars at POOR and from each of you, and for me especially the pieces around spiritual grounding.
anyways, in response to tyrone and cathy’s request to financially support POOR, i decided to take my first step at practicing reparations rather than donations. a friend of mine dropped this bit of knowledge on me,
“don’t tell me what your values are, show me your budget, and i’ll tell you what your values are.”
that got me thinking. and i hope the thinking i did is useful to folks like me who have a job or some banked resources and might be in a similar position. i also hope it’s useful for folks who will have a paid job and will have some banked resources some day.
so here’s what i’m doing. i’m paying the same amount as i pay for rent to POOR for the next 6 months. i pay 400 bucks in rent, this is my single largest monthly expense. i was totally in denial once i made this decision. it wasn’t until i walked over to POOR and gave tiny the money that i even believed i was doing it. then it was done…and then came the drama of “what will they use it for?” “should i ask that it support a particular project?” “what if they use it for pizza?” “should i get a receipt?”
so that was my “donations” self coming up. i decided then that if i was even going to ask those questions in my head, i better be willing to do the same for my other expenses – so am i willing to ask my landlords (a great vietnamese family) what they do with my rent check? am i willing to get on the horn with verizon, or my car insurance company? turns out, i’m not. turns out, when i think of my donations as reparations, i think of it like paying a bill. i do it, because i feel i owe it. now, that doesn’t mean i am justifying my bills, i’m just noticing where i put my energy into “wondering about where my money goes.” let’s see if it’s any easier next month when i know the bill is due….
much love to you all, and i hope your own process with reparations is going well. i’m starting to feel liberated from my relationship with money…and feeling happily governed by my relationship to people.
peace
ramesh kathanadhi – learner in training